My hair had finally grown enough to warrant a second post cancer haircut right before the holidays. Between the all over puffiness and post chemo frizz, a trim and shapeup was definitely needed. Some people may wonder what I mean by post chemo frizz, so I’ll explain it to you.
When your hair first starts growing back after chemo, it is incredibly fine and soft…and is very similar in feel to the end of a q-tip or cotton ball. As the hair continues to grow and fill in, it progressively becomes thicker and resembles normal hair…well as normal as a Ronald MacDonald afro can look. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I permed my hair, I’d be a rich woman. It’s beyond me why anyone would think that I’d electively make the decision to give myself an 80s style perm. Seriously people! Anyways, what you’re left with is about a ½ inch of super fine, super frizzy (and in my case, super blond) hair at the end of each strand…what I like to refer to as post chemo frizz.
My hair stylist talked me into letting him blow dry my hair straight prior to my cut so 1) we could see what it looks like and how long it actually is and 2) he could give me a more accurate cut and shape. Apparently cutting curly hair can be challenging.
I was very apprehensive about the whole blow drying idea for several reasons. The first, because as silly as it may seem, I was concerned that if I blew out and straightened my hair with a flat iron, the curls would never recover and be the same. I know I complain and crack jokes about my curls on a regular basis, but they at least look cute….ish. Or so I’m told. I’m hoping you all haven’t been lying to my face the last 6 months :)
The second reason really goes hand in hand with the first….I was scared to death to see what my hair actually looked like straight right now. If it was awful and I lost all my curl because of a premature blow out, I’d never forgive myself. I‘ve thought about and wandered (A LOT) what exactly my hair would look like if I blew it dry. I always assumed it would look terrible because of all the different lengths and the top still being pretty short. I will admit that there was a little glimmer of hope secretly hidden away that when I actually pulled the trigger on straightening out my hair, the end result would be fabulous.
Well, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. The end result was every bit as awful as I was anticipating :( Exhibit A is below.
I can’t believe I’m actually sharing that photo. It’s so embarrassing and I cringe every time I look at it. I look like some sort of she-man. Needless to say, after a few “it doesn’t look that bad comments”, I immediately got in the shower and washed the straightness out. Fortunately, my curls returned to their previous state without any issues. Crisis averted.
I’ve always been emotional about my hair and am not afraid to admit that I’ve cried on occasion because of a bad cut. But this takes the cake and will go down in history as the worst haircut ever!!
Because my hair is getting longer, I’ve officially retired my beloved headbands. They don’t really work well with the length of my hair. As much as I miss them (because I thought they were a cute accessory), my ears love me for it. If you’ve ever worn a headband for an extended period of time, you know what I’m talking about. While great at keeping your hair out of your face, they tend to dig in your head right behind your ears and cause a dull, aching pain. Something I’d pretty much grown accustomed to over the last 6 months. Not having to deal with that anymore has been incredible!!
In lieu of my headbands, I’ve started pinning the front section of my hair over to the side with a bobby pin or decorative barrette….which you’ll see in my recent photos. I think it still makes my hair look decent, and gets the job done for the time being. I literally dream about the day when I’ll be able to pull my hair into a pony tail again!
I haven’t kicked off the New Year very well from a blogging perspective. I’m not exactly sure why that is…but have a sneaking suspicion that it’s because I’m a little angry at 2012 right now. I was looking forward to a fresh start to the new year full of joy and excitement…and I feel like all I’m surrounded by lately is the hurting and sorrow of others starting with the passing of my friend Keasha and ending most recently with the passing of a 2 year old little girl who’s mother works at our local YMCA. I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it, cancer is an awful disease and we need to find a cure for it….ASAP.
In doing my own part to make that happen, I signed up to participate in a local charity event this July called 24 Hours of Booty. If you remember (or don’t), I talked about this event in my blog last year. 24 HOB is a cycling event that raises money for national and local cancer initiatives and takes place on Charlotte’s infamous “booty” loop, a 2.9 mile loop around some of the prettiest streets and homes in town. I’m sure I’ll be soliciting all of you for a donation over the course of the next 6 months to help me achieve my fundraising goal. Be prepared!!
And that’s all I really have for today….photos from 61 weeks post chemo are below…..