A few months ago I talked about wanting to find a place to donate all of my wigs.  Given that I’ve been wig free for 8 months now, I figured it was time to officially cut the cord and give away my beloved wigs. 

It was a rough few first weeks, but I eventually came to love my wigs.  I primarily wore the one on left in the photo above, Upstage by Raquel Welch.  After I had it trimmed a few inches, it was perfect.  It looked incredibly life like, so much so that I used to get compliments on how cute my “hair cut” was all the time.

I bought a second wig, Scene Stealer by Raquel Welch, because I missed my long hair so much.  Little did I know, a long haired wig was nearly impossible to keep tangle free.  The hair turned into a rat’s nest within a few minutes of walking around with it on.  As a result, I’m pretty sure I wore that wig less than 5 times.  As much as I wanted to have long hair again, the thought of having to brush it out every few minutes wasn’t feasible.

And finally, my third wig, which I have no idea who the manufacturer was, was a purchase made out of desperation.  I realized 5 hours into my drive home to Michigan for the holidays last year that I forgot to pack my wig.  I was incredibly self-conscience of all my family seeing me without hair, so not having a wig to wear for the week I was home wasn’t going to work. 

I found a random beauty parlor that sold wigs and purchased the cutest thing I could find.  The hair style of the wig was cute, but the quality of the hair itself was really low.  I felt extremely self-conscience wearing that thing and only ended up wearing it once I think the entire time I was home.  Upon returning to Charlotte, the wig went on its styrofoam head where it sat for the last year.  I unfortunately don’t have any photos wearing that wig, but it’s the one of the right side of the picture at the top.

Upon returning to Charlotte after spending the holidays back in Michigan, I finally got around to packing up all my wigs and wig accessories and made the trek over to the Buddy Kemp Cancer Support Center.  This is an organization in Charlotte that loans wigs and other support services to cancer patients free of charge.  They have a lending boutique which is open to all cancer patients to go to and borrow hats, scarves, wigs, etc.  I spent so much money on my wigs (thank goodness for healthcare flexible spending accounts!!), it was important to me that other’s would be able to use them without having to spend another dime on them.

I’ve had a few people ask how it felt to donate them….and honestly, it was a little scary.  I pray every day that I’ll never find myself in the position again where I would need my wigs, but know that there is always a possibility (regardless of all of my past and present treatments) of my cancer returning.  At times, I feel like maybe I’m tempting fate by getting rid of them so quickly.  While from an outsider perspective it may seem like I stopped wearing a wig a long time ago, it still feels pretty new in my mind.  The only thing that helps bring me peace about the whole situation is that instead of sitting on a shoe rack in my bedroom, my wigs are out there bringing hopefully as much self-confidence and happiness to someone else as they brought to me.

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I can’t remember if I’ve talked about this in a previous blog or not, more so out of embarrassment and not wanting to draw attention to the situation…..but the puberty-esque acne that’s been wreaking havoc on my face (primarily my chin area) as a result of the tamoxifen finally got to the point where I needed to seek professional help.  I had an appointment with a dermatologist last Monday.

The dermatologist didn’t really tell me anything I don’t already know….when you mess with your hormones, your face is going to suffer….but she was able to prescribe me a few topical gels.

I’ve been using the new gels….religiously….for the last week and a half and (knock on wood) I think they are actually working.  I definitely notice a difference on my face and am cautiously optimistic that I’m finally starting to get the situation under control.  I’d like to thank all of my friends and Andrew for helping me maintain my self esteem the last few months by pretending like they don’t notice it.  I’m a lucky girl and I appreciate the kindness

And because I’ve been such a slacker (I know I sound like a broken record), I actually had another haircut since I wrote about in my last blog……waaaaaaaaay back when almost a month ago :(  I was getting ready for work about two weeks ago and it become abundantly clear to me I was on the verge of having another mullet again.  The back and sides are growing so quickly….and unfortunately the top is continuing to grow at a much slower pace.

So I scheduled an appointment and got, I’m guessing, around 2 ½ – 3 inches cut off the bottom of my hair.  As much as I hate cutting off the hair I’ve been so desperate to grow back, I know it was necessary.  I’m getting closer and closer to a normal hair style as the weeks go by!!  I think the cut is a pretty noticeable difference between to the two side shots below….wouldn’t you agree??

Photos from 62 and 64 weeks post chemo are below…..